Day 87

Miks has been fine today... she's still grumpy when she's awake... but I think that's just how she is :-(

We all went for a walk late this afternoon... Miks in her pram (after much fussing, she eventually slept while we walked)... I just love being home... walking around the estate, it's quiet and peaceful... it's home ! I love it!

The thing that's worrying me at the moment though is my domestic worker/ child minder.... she just loves Mikayla so much. I think when she lost her little boy (in utero, at around 36 weeks), and then came back to work: well, Mikayla has helped her with her grief. But Mikayla is going to be another loss to her.... and really, Lindiwe is like Miks' second mum. She hugs her and kisses her- she really loves Mikayla. And I worry about how she'll handle this loss. I told her yesterday that she needs to prepare herself (as much as is possible)... but I could see that this upset her.

The other thing that got to me yesterday, was reading up on another T18 mum's blog (in America)... she lost her daughter when she was 2 1/2. I didn't read too much into what eventually caused her death- but she spoke about going to the pulmonary cardiologist or something - which suggests to me that perhaps she died from pulmonary pressure... and the one thing she commented on was how much pain her daughter was in... and THAT is what scares me the most with Mikayla. More than anything, I don't want her to be in pain. It would destroy me. Please please please God, don't let her die a painful death... PLEASE!! There cannot be any good that will come out of that... PLEASE! If there is one prayer that You answer for me- please let that be the one.

Another thing I am worried about is my precious mother-in-law. She wasn't well the week before last. At first they thought it was a bleeding ulcer, then they thought it was food poisoning, but after having a CT scan on Monday, they have said that she has fluid on her heart and lungs? She was having it drained last night. The oncologist is not sure what is causing it, and as I understand, she will be seeing a cardiologist. Please pray for her. I know she doesn't want to worry us- but we love her dearly, and just long for her to be well.