It has been an emotional roller coaster ride of note the last few days. I am terribly tearful.... am finding this all a little cruel. Cruel for me, but mostly cruel for Mikayla. Why should she end up with the short stick? With less of a life? Why, in the pool that she was dealt out of, was she given less? Why did she deserve less? I know there's no answer to that question, and I may NEVER know that answer... and mostly I am ok with that.... but this last week it was just all too much for me.
And I think that's ok. I am not going to pretend everything's ok if it's not. It is what it is, and sometimes I am allowed to be sad about it... and boy have I been sad!!
Everyone hopes for a perfect child. And it's really, quite simply, a privilege to be granted that hope/ dream. I could kick myself for having been so arrogant about it with the boys. I was blessed with two perfect boys. All ten fingers and all ten toes. It's a blessing- not a given!!
I'm just sad because my job, as a parent, is to protect and nurture my children- and I haven't been able to do that for Mikayla- nor can I do it going forward for Mikayla. It's horrible feeling so terribly helpless at times.
Anyway, I've had a week of crying. My eyes are sore. And I feel better for it.
Had to share this funny clip: Miks does this funny thing with her lips... sometimes the tongue even joins in on the action.... it makes me giggle:
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