Days 97 - 101

We're on triple digits!! That's insane!! I honestly never thought we'd get this far, Miks. I was pretty convinced we'd "taken you home to die" from the hospital. And while triple digits doesn't change your prognosis, it's still a pretty strange feeling.

We've had a ridiculously busy few days- especially the weekend. And you just get dragged along... passed from person to person.... you moan pretty continually- and there are times it makes me want to pull my hair out. Other times I just want to curl into a ball and weep (and sometimes I actually do!). And other times I just shrug it off as one of your nuances... who you are, really.

I've been trying so hard to get you to smile. I tickle you like mad, make silly faces... I must look like a real fool. You don't seem to know what to do with me, really. I can't say I blame you- even the boys don't know what to make of me sometimes :-)

It never ceases to amaze me how quickly life can change. In an instant our world flipped inside out. Just really quite humbling when you understand how fragile life is- and how flippant we can be about it sometimes. You've certainly given us some perspective.

Last week was really bad for me. Russ was away- and every night I seemed to sit for hours on end trying to calm you... nothing seemed to help. By Thursday I was a wreck. Thankfully that was the night Russ was home. He's away again this week, and AGAIN next week.... anyway, I must soldier on... complaining is not going to help, now is it?

And you... so little.

I have lovely thoughts about who you are to me versus who you are to the world. Not sure I have my head fully around them yet... I wake up in the night with these strange sentences floating through my head. Maybe I should start writing them down. Who knows... they could be interesting... And look at this picture of your brother... such a fighter... just like you!