Well, this morning we held Mikayla's dedication at church. It was an amazing service. I was so proud of Russ- he really is such a strong, amazing man... and of course the absolute love of my life. How I ever existed without Russell, I will never know. He is just wonderful!
Mikayla was so alert for the dedication as well.... was a real little grumpy thing too... ok, it was during her feed... but she was still a little star. I was uber proud of her! And everyone kept saying how beautiful she is.. well, of course!!!! My mum in law prayed that she kept thinking of the song "All things bright and beautiful"- I loved that. That is my little girl: bright and beautiful. Friends came and shared in the occasion- it was amazing to see how loved this little girl is, and she is only 16 days old!! Amazing how it is not our years of life that make the impact on the people around us.
We came home, and Russ popped out to get some lunch, and my mum-in-law was with me... I was changing Mik, and she has another episode where she stopped breathing. This time it was longer- and took much more for me to resuscitate her. Again, it was terrifying. I really am living on tender hooks. And then, again, tonight, she hasd another episode. Each time seems a bit worse, and a bit longer.
I keep wondering if this is it? Is Jesus getting ready to take our little girl home? Am I ready to let her go? How will I survive this?
Mikayla, my darling precious angel: words will never convey just how much you mean to me, and how you have changed my life. And nothing... NOTHING.... will ever be the same. You have shown me the meaning of family. The meaning of life. The MIRACLE of life. And, as Russ spoke about: we should treasure every day. We simply don't know what tomorrow holds. You are my miracle child.... and everyday that I spend with you, I am better because of it. I love you.
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