Today was a hectic day. Mikayla was taken across to St Augustines Hospital to see the paedeatric cardiologist, due to heart apnea's that she has been having. Her paed was worried that she had heart defects.
We tagged along- although didn't get to travel in the ambulance!
It was a long, hard day. But the cardiologist has good news. He said that, although she had two defects- these were things that were present in the womb, and had simply not sorted themselves out yet. They may still do so, or may not, but either way, they are not life threatening, which is great news. Mikayla was so good.... she hardly moaned while she was scanned.... such a precious good little baby.
There is apparently alot of pressure on her lungs though. They do worry about this, as the high pressure on her lungs can put added pressure on her heart. But its something they just need to monitor over time.
I wonder how I feel about everything.
Confused.
Hurt.
Frustrated that I cannot take away her suffering.
Raw.
Very very Raw.
I keep wondering why? Why my little girl? My precious baby girl?
She is worth so much more.
I am tired. Very very tired. And sore. All the walking everywhere does nothing for my c-section healing. But I have to keep going.
No comments:
Post a Comment