Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Day 102

Well, an interesting day and even more interesting night.

Miks, you were pretty miserable the entire day, and then even more so in the evening. Infact, you were awake from around 3:30pm, and pretty much cried solidly from about 6 til 9:45pm. Were it not that I had a friend over, I would have been a wreck! But I managed to hold it together, and was able to pass you over when it was too much. I am so grateful I had a friend around. She just lightened the load, and of course it was fun to chat and have company while your Dad is away.

But really it does frustrate me to no end that I feel like I cannot calm you when you're moaning like that. I gave you everything I could, and nothing seemed to work. Then during the night you woke twice again. And you tried to moan to stay awake... but I'm afraid at that point I wasn't having it... its amazing how a pillow over my head can drown out the noise :-) Actually, you settled relatively easily (or I was too exhausted and just slept through the moaning... who knows?!

{Prophecy - Fact or Falicy}

In my opinion, no-one has more reason to question prophecy than me: afterall, on the surface I believe I was promised this child. I felt that promise was confirmed, and yet I was given a sick child. How can that be? Here's my thought on the matter:

1. Prophecy is NOT fortunetelling. As our pastor puts it (and forgive me, I may word it slightly incorrectly, but it should make the point): Words spoken over you are potential promises. But the only actual promises from God are in His word. His word is full of His promises to us. And that's why it's important we spend time in His word (I speak to myself here, since I don't do it nearly enough)

2. The devil "comes only to steal and kill and destroy" (John 10:10).. where is he going to start his stealing and killing and destroying... why, the very place or thing that we believe to be a promise from God, of course. The thief wants us to question God. To question our brothers and sisters in Christ. He wants us to be uncertain. I simply won't let him have that pleasure.

3. When God speaks through prophecy it's to ENCOURAGE us: "But everyone who prophesies speaks to men for their strengthening,
encouragement and comfort" 1 Corinthians 14:3

The dictionary explanation for "encourage" is as follows:

1. To inspire with hope, courage, or confidence; hearten.
2. To give support to; foster: policies designed to encourage private investment.
3. To stimulate; spur: burning the field to encourage new plant growth.

There's nothing there about prediction, in either the scripture or the dictionary meaning of the word itself.

4. Who am I, and who are you, to question God? He is a loving God. But He is GOD. God almighty, God sovereignty. God on High. GOD.

5. As my friend puts it (and so well): We try and limit God to our time line. God has time lines of His own.
God has plans and has order beyond our comprehension. He is just so much bigger than us. He sees well beyond what we could even conceive. Perhaps we just need to leave the big planning up to Him?

6. Perhaps my "prophecy" was merely to settle my decision- get rid of my anxiety. Who's to say what other potential God has in the future for me? Who's to say that He doesn't have greater promises for me? My hope is that He does... but more than that:

7. God will restore. In His time. In His way. That is a PROMISE in His word. That is not a prophecy. It is a truth. And that is my biggest prayer. Lord, that you would restore that which has been taken from us. That You would restore that part of me which has been robbed and destroyed. That I would feel whole again; happy; complete.

I think I'll take some pics of Miks tomorrow.

Also, I have been thinking of starting a 365 project. Perhaps take a picture every day of the year for 365 days of something that gives me joy. There are just too many sad/ unhappy things happening in the world- and it's so easy to focus on the negative stuff... I want to start seeing the good in things- finding the small joys, which upon accumulation, can perhaps bring GREAT joys? I think, if we look hard enough, we can always find something to be happy about.

1 comment:

  1. Taryn,
    I know what you are going through is hard. For 14 months, I got no more than three hours of sleep at a time (at best). There was one night when our daughter, Lily, cried and moaned until 6 in the morning. (That night was the worst.) (She, too, has Trisomy 18.) In June, though, Lily got a g-tube placed. I don't know if it was that or if it just happened to be her age or what, but all of a sudden, she's the PERFECT baby. Really, it was bad. My husband keeps saying how he thought I was literally going to go crazy. Hang in there. And please, email me if you get a chance (jillsmith1972@gmail.com). I have a few suggestions, if you don't mind me giving them. Jill