The thing I do keep thinking lately is how much I wish there was a cure, or medicine, or SOMETHING for T18. That feeling of helplessness I find really frustrating. the other thing that keeps striking me, is how BIG this "loss" has been to me. I have wanted a daughter since as far back as I can remember. When I was a little girl I played with girl dollies, when I was a teenager, I dreamed of the daughter I would have. So having that thing that I had hoped and dreamed of given to me, and yet sort of taken from me all at once is just so much bigger. I reason that I can't change it. It is what it is. And there is many a person who has been through much worse than me. And I remind myself of all the positives: she has no major abnormalities, no huge defects... we get to hold her, kiss her, love her. But the irony is that her positives are actually also negatives. I'm not going to elaborate on that... you'll just have to take my word on the matter- it's too personal to talk more than that about it.
Anyway, for today, I am just loving her.... those little grins are too cute not to :-)
No comments:
Post a Comment