You were well today Miks... you slept well, and were quite happy. I bought you a little bouncing chair to lie on, including all the bells and whistles (or rather, the music and moving monkeys and vibrations)... we put you in it this morning, and you went rather wide eyed at all the activity!! It was very cute. Unfortunately you're quiet and alert for long... I really think you cannot handle too much stimulation. But it was sweet nonetheless. And then, after all my worry and talk of looking further into the pooing option... well, you were functioning normally and happily this afternoon! I hope it lasts.
Me? I was rather sad tonight. I'm sad cos I realised today HOW MUCH I wanted all those wonderful baby moments... the gurgling, the kicking of feet, the little giggles, the smiles. I want to cuddle and be cuddled back. I wanted so much to experience that again. I wanted that for you. I wanted my boys to experience that with you. And I still long for a happy healthy baby.
I love you... and don't worry, I won't dwell in the sad place long. Every now and again I visit. Remember. Reminisce. Wish. Hope. Dream. Then the reality settles. I shake myself up. And know that I can't change things. So we'll make the best of it. Tomorrow is another day. And as one of my new T18 mums writes in her emails... something like "don't worry, the world hasn't ended.... it's tomorrow in Australia already".
And besides, there's nothing that a good sweet cuppa tea can't fix.
Oh, and it was your big (little) brother's birthday today. 5 years old. We had a good quality family meal at Spur... which you were not going to miss for the world!! You funny little girl!
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